MY HOPE NEVER DIES

Each man kills what he loves 

But my hope will never die

Sometimes, I wonder

If our parents raised us too well

Having to be nice when things don't sit well

Making room when I've had enough

Even for people clamouring for more

I give thanks to God for my parents

Everyday of my life

Keep the faith, keep the distance

Friendly at arm's length, for instance

Flow together like brothers and sisters

And sometimes, keep distance like strangers

God is alive, he's the source of my life

When things are tough, my God is enough

When things make no sense, I won't despair

My God is alive, he's the source of my life

I'll keep alive when bad times arrive

My God is good, He keeps my hope alive.

© el-iyanu

4/11/21

WHAT I TELL MYSELF

Had to tell myself I try my best

Never push to try to come first

I think I have issues with authority

I do my thing with great audacity

And I try with integrity

I know I can do better

Dressing fine doesn't make one responsible

But some people think you're more responsible

And your money more edible

I get these looks sometimes that get me

Sometimes it bothers me

Seems like they were talking about me

 But their words get around me

I try not to pay attention

To how I feel: sensation

There's this shirt with a high collar

I found it in my drawer

It used to me my brother's

Or my other brother's

Or perhaps, my father's

It's sky blue in colour

Fits well like a nice comment

But the sleeves are short, don't comment

Have to fold it

Don't think anyone knows it

Even if they do, it's me

Check me out, I own it.

I invaded someone's privacy

I'm feeling defiled

I said I wanted to know

The person they don't show

But I should have known—

Secrets are deep

And they lure one deeper

I almost went below

I should have known better

I should have done better

Now I'm fighting with myself

A battle within myself

Not really feeling myself

I'm at war with myself

A feeling I don't like myself

These things I think I've gone beyond

But strangely I'm at peace

Waiting this storm to pass

That some things I just pass

Always and everyday

My God to please...

© el-iyanu

PALMS UP TO THE TOP

Palms up to the top

Bowing heads to my last minute

All the pains I've done seen it

Killers saying they don't mean it

Palms up to the last minute

Raise my voice to the last digits

Ain't too big to pray

Even to my last day

Coming late and leaving early

I do my things quite fairly

Don't like to wake early

You'll see me on telly

Take my bread without jelly

Crack the shell, fry some eggies

In record time I fill my belly

With a smile I hail the girlies

All smiles, I hail the girlies

Been in a mood since last week

Was told to make a few tweaks

Wish I could call in sick

But I don't like being sick

But it makes me seek

If I'm right or wrong

Can take criticism on board

I felt like I was on course

I can't give up now, of course

But I'm counting the days over

Wish it could end sooner

Sort of a late bloomer

Maybe that's why I wake later

Few things get me up early

Football and sports at its very core

And with principled people to discuss

I'm counting the days over

My sister was kind

Try not to take it to heart

I make my choices 

And live my decisions

It's one thing that gives me great peace

That I have the power to

Live my future as envisioned

Not to say I'm right all the time

But I try to stay in character

Don't scratch the surface and think you know

Ask questions that you don't know

There's more to me that meets the eye

I'll just take a moment to say hi

I leave things sometimes half done

Sometimes because I can

I feel more satisfied now

Recommendations helped me improve

Finished in time, yea, I'm all done..

© el-iyanu

BEAUTY OR BARRICADE II

 [27/01, 7:20 PM] tokedeeliyanu.blogspot: Every day of my life, I question myself

Sometimes the answer is clear

Something there's nothing there

To not be proud I fear

But of myself I think well

Some think I have no right

To think as I should

To act as I should

But often I'm grateful

For the choices I make

I seem to miss out

On a lot of things

Sometimes I kick myself

But my price is to be free

[28/01, 11:46 PM] tokedeeliyanu.blogspot: They say I'm difficult

Like I'm in a cult

Take my case to the court

Let the law run its course

Beauty or barricade

Take me down the drain

Put me behind bars

Watch my mind explore

No one else can take the fall

It's boring,

I search for higher bars

Leave you begging, 

To God implore.

 

Last year was happy

It was beautiful and it was sad

One of the best

Was also among the worst.

I lose my temper now and then

I also see the beauty there

Mutter beneath my breath,

Sometimes, you don't know it's there.

Two men with all the qualities

Their mind is the difference

One sees beyond the bars

The other, in tears, just draws the lines

But their mind is at work

Same outlook, two perspectives

But their mind at work

One a frame,

The other a painting

But their mind at work

Beauty or barricade,

There's one in our pain

Leaves you hanging,

Game on like arcade

Like a glitch in the system

Finding beauty or nursing hurts?

© el-iyanu

COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS

Counting down the hours before I leave

Done working, placed it on a freeze

My time will come, this I believe

In God do I find relief.

I wonder how the world works sometimes

Perhaps if I wasn't so proud I'll be ahead some more

But I value respect a lot

And honour means a lot to me too

I took responsibility for when I was wrong

I could even write it in a song

But I wonder how the world works for real

How people rarely fight for truth

They say we're friends but no one cares

Actually some do

But when it gets real, some begin to forget

No one fights for you like you

But why should I fight when my talent speaks?

If that's not enough, what else will?

Want me to beg and coddle up to the goons?

I'll lose interest, it's gone too soon

It's hard for me to please myself

Be wanting things like this

Then I get it and find some holes in it

But what is real, I recognise

Yea, what is real, I recognise

And it's only real if it's mutual

Some play games and win the battle

But in the long run they lose the war

In a class behind the kids

Music blasting in my ears

God take away all my fears

Hoping for all the future brings

I did my best and stayed away

Some people don't care like they say

But God is there

He's always true.

© el-iyanu

THE LITTLE FAN

Blood on my hands, but it's only mine,

Scratching the tissue while the blood flows out:

The scars disappear before morning comes,

No, for my sake, you won't catch me mourning storms!

Job done, tissue discarded,

What was the issue we all regarded?

Won't catch me acting all retarded;

Break up the group, you're all disbanded.

I hope you aren't acting clever?

Before you wound yourself forever.

All that I am, I gave my blood,

I went through a really difficult curve,

So don't play me for the fool I'm not,

Before you wound yourself for nought.

Pain is my only companion,

Sleep is a distant friend;

Don't know what to do,

Just want it to end.

Moving out like tidal wave,

Just want it to end.

Asking myself the question,

Who did I offend?

For this pain,

I can't compare.

Sometimes I ask myself,

why I'm the way I am,

Then someone does something,

And I remember why

I chose to be this way

'Times I'm quickly angry

I don't like being offended

Especially when people feel

Like they have the right to..

Don't overwhelm me,

Cause you think I'm young,

I have a right to

Live as I see fit.

But the world don't stop

Cause I'm in a bad mood.

The world seems better already,

Hugging my little nephew.

We're similar somehow,

Ruthless with our time,

Independent and stubborn,

Isn't the world our oyster?

Watching my little niece,

You can't stay mad for long,

Hands delicate like fine china,

She refusing sleep's advances:

A little fan blowing in her face,

© el-iyanu

ANATOMY FEVER

 Anatomy fever, your bone is a lever, just dey make me shiver, fever, lever, anatomy fever

Anatomy fever, mo fi ikanra leave am

Shiver, diva, anatomy fever, lever, leave am, I don enter free verse, anatomy fever, my glory no go re-verse, diva, singer, I don tire read am

Shiver, diva, anatomy fever!

© el-iyanu

Anatomy and Physiology has to be one of the most difficult courses I've encountered. Just took time out to vent some after completing the course and scaling through. Had some help from Tizaa who posed the question of making a song about the course.

DEAR GOD

 Dear God,

I'm swamped with emotion, I can't say a word

The world is turning, faster than our eyes can see

Your children are changing, right before our very eyes

Nothing is hidden, social media is alive

Everything is buzzing like bees in a hive

But the world is in hell, and the flames are alive

 I know you can see, but your children, why can't they see?

 'Cause Omo, I don't understand what's going on

The wrong things just keep going on and on..

© el-iyanu

I FELL FOR YOU

I fell for you like sudden rain

You went away and left me pain

I'm going crazy, going insane

And life will never be the same

My heart is bleeding you left a stain

Do you play me, I think I'm game

And what is there for you to gain

I have nothing more left then to say

There's a crime you have to pay

For the role you had to play

(And a role you have to play)

On your knees now down and pray

To God your sins for him to waive

So, come back now my heart and save

For all the love I had and gave

I won't be proud now I can beg

For your love to see again

I hope your heart I can regain

For life will never be the same

I hope you see now for your sake

That things will never be the same

For nothing in this world can make

Me forget now about our love

How it made me now evolve

Around your sun do I revolve!

© el-iyanu

IN MY MOUTH

In my mouth was a song

Of praise to my God

With thanks upon my tongue

I'll come before my Lord

© el-iyanu

NEGLECT

So easily overlooked

Yet full of dusty wonders

At heart like gold

On epidermis, rust

Waiting for the one

The one single act

The one single drop

To wipe away

Years of seemingly

Harmless thoughts, words and ideas

Swaddled in the question

Is it important?

Heaven has not fallen yet

So what's the fuss all about?

Give me enough time

Says Neglect

You'll recant your words

Your new mantra

Will be

Had I known...

To your utmost peril

Signed: Neglect

©Tokede Kolawole (Sir K)

Art by Afonne Michael

START TO ENDING (PIDGIN VERSE)

Naso the thing go from start to ending

God don finish work from start to ending

You fit dey suffer but no one be sending

But no be to die be the ending

Man fit die but no be the ending

Live to the fullest my guy

We gas to die empty,

Remember,

We gas to die empty.

© el-iyanu

DON'T CALL ME

(Don't Want To See You)

Don't call me, I don't want to see you

Yesterday you called, but I let it drop

Nine times you called, nine times I ignored

Was at a meeting, I was taking minutes

But I was glad to be occupied

Cause never-mind, 

I didn't want to talk to you

You always take, you hardly give.

I knew for a fact that you wanted me

Again to help you with something—

Didn't have to know what,

That's just how you roll,

And life is like fishroll.

But I have my own things to solve

And my own life to live

I wasn't born for you to live,

I'm a grown man, I'm not a child.

Don't mistake my silence cause I'm not wild

I opened a gate, you shoved it wide

I learned my lessons like a flash card.

There's a fear that perhaps I'm proud

That what goes around may come around

That perhaps, I block my blessings

But with you, I learned hard lessons.

You said you don't like being a bother

Well, you are.

It's time to put that into practice,

Don't plan your life around mine

Makes me feel like I wasted time.

Can remember 

All the times I came through for you

All what I passed— through all my troubles,

You came out smelling like bubbles

While I was buried under the rubble.

It's painful you don't keep your word,

You make me cry out, O Lord!

You criticize those you're better than

But that makes you worse.

You criticize those worse than you

But you're not really better than.

But I can't deny the good times,

Despite the broken promises,

I know for a fact you love me,

But I'm not bound to you.

So I'll remember the good times

And cherish them.

What I took from you,

And cherish them.

But for now, please don't call me;

Things are hectic and difficult,

And I don't want to see you.

You make me stay away,

Whenever I'm there,

You remind me why I stay away

Always an errand for me today

Something to do tomorrow

I keep silent in sorrow.

Let me live, let me breathe

You can be difficult to swallow

Don't consider me callow

I'm a grown man, I'm not a child.

It's not goodbye, but stay away,

I'll still come around again

But for now, please understand

Like I want to hide underground

It's not goodbye, but I'll stay away...

© el-iyanu

WOW!

BULLETPROOF VERSE 3

Kante:

You're so cold, but now I know

And you try to help, that I know

I'll pick up the pieces and grow

But up to you, I won't show

If you're ready, you'll come home

From east or west or where you roamed

I'll take a vacation; travel to Rome

Didn't do all that for you to love

Did it for you because I loved

But now, for me to prove my worth?

If you're in love, you'll show up

Please don't tell me to shut up

You left me, but like yeast, I'll come up

People keep asking me: what's up

But I just want them to shut up!

I'm dealing with things I never thought,

Don't forget we never fought.

Shore-Nice: 

You make me happy 

And you make me sad — all at once!

Memories with you are bittersweet all together!

You are just like the devil 

You give me little and you take much 

You rekindle my little heart with love 

Just for you to shatter my world 

You came to my life for a little while;

It felt like heaven

Only for you to give me scar forever

A scar that I still recovering from!

It's funny how certain people claim to love you 

Without evidence of love to show

Without evidence of love to prove

Love has action, but yours is just a reaction

To the circumstances around us.

I'm yet to recover 

From the scars you gave me 

But here I am 

Still reminiscing how real it felt. 

With tears in my eyes, 

I'm a victim of loving the devil 

When I thought you were an angel..

3rd March, 2022.

Shore told me he wasn't expecting a twist when I sent him Vashti's verse. He read and responded to the scene. It's a beautiful story with more twists, something we've seen and will see happening around our world. If you'll like to join the story, you know where I'll be.

Yours truly,

Iyanu.

WHY?

BULLETPROOF (VERSE 2)

Vashti:

Why?

Our time together was a part to play

Us being apart didn't start today

Being with you was the price I paid

And you helped me to stand again

I was low, but all the while I watched

Saw you fall, even with how I was

I won't deny, my heart was touched

But I had to leave 'cause I felt rushed

I didn't want some stories that touch

I'm sorry for how I left you,

Saw you bear the ridicule too

But coming back for me is too soon

Perhaps it's time for me to help you

But I won't sit around and watch a cartoon

Pick up your life, don't be a buffoon

A woman left you, that's simple

But I love your smile, that dimple

I don't want no bulletproof, I need a human

Someone to hold, someone to make me smile

Not someone who thinks I'm greater than

Who doesn't only worship the ground I walk

But can bring me down to earth

You fell for me at my lowest ebb

And you were for me, my greatest help

But, now, it's time for you to stand

Show me the depth of all you've got

I'm at the top, now, can you climb?

Or do you only live for broken toys?

You were everything I needed and more

But now it's time to give your all

If it was class, 

Or all you had was form..

© el-iyanu

SIGNED, SEALED AND DELIVERED

Signed, sealed and delivered,

These signs shall follow believers—

They'll come in faith, love and power

And the sons of men they shall deliver.

But be careful of deceivers

Who pretend like they're believers

They come like floods, they come like rivers

False faith they come to bring out

And the faith of men they come to sever

Signed, sealed and delivered,

These signs shall follow believers—

They'll come in faith, in love and power

And the sons of men they shall deliver.

Oh, be careful of false believers

Agents of darkness, they're deceivers

False faith they come to bring out

And false praise they come to sing out

Signed, sealed and delivered,

These signs shall follow believers—

They'll come in faith, in love and power

And the sons of men they shall deliver.

Blessed are those who pass through fire

In the hell, God will give them water

They'll come out with power

And elevate even higher..

© el-iyanu

SWEET JUNK AND BOUNDARIES

 

Tell me sweet junk and blow my mind

It's a treasure I hope to find

Can hunt for it while blind

To savour the thrill of the find

O! Tell me again some sweet junk!

But in life, I talk about boundaries,

To know the lines that we can't cross

People may be helpful, but for real,

Their silence doesn't mean feel free!

Remind me again some sweet junk,

All those whispered nonsense we can't forget

The love that friendship begets

And a life without any regrets

But we draw the lines at boundaries

Lest we put a strain on friendship

A long way from the trenches

But at a point, elastic stops stretching

But whisper again some sweet junk

Let me again meditate like a monk

On these words that remain like skunk's,

O, remind me again some sweet junk!

© el-iyanu

This write is actually a combination of two topics threaded into one. For me personally, I'm a huge fan of boundaries, as much as I love freedom in relations, but I expect people to know their bounds. The subject of boundaries comes up with me regularly. I've come to realise that some people have no boundaries on themselves, so they impose their lack of restrictions on you, and if you're not careful, you begin to endure a sorry existence, and get madder when they push you yet another extra mile against your wishes. But, perhaps, it's time to take a stand, no matter how silently you speak, no matter how quietly you draw. Even if they don't hear, at least, you'll know you drew the lines. If they watch carefully, they'll observe the fine print.

SCARS FROM WITHIN

By Shalom-Paul Onadipe 

I feel my heart slitting into parts 

these diverse emotional scars

not knowing where my heart lies,

I feel like a lost art!

not knowing who I want to 

express my love to anymore

I feel like a total stranger 

when it comes to love 

somedays I'm an expert 

other days I'm just a big bag of flaws.

I'm probably lying to myself 

about being genuinely loved

because love is not accidental

love is dynamic 

it comes and goes,

leaving stories which becomes memories,

memories which may turn to scars..

we are all slaves to love at one point

we try to please one and others

greedy and insatiable as we are

we all try to give a little extra when it comes to love 

a strange feeling which has come to stay within us

of happiness complimenting pain and sorrow.

what is love without the pain and hurt?

too much love but no one to give it to

do we ever give enough?

© Shore-Nice,

February, 2022.

In this piece, the author asks crucial questions all through, none so much than at the end: do we ever give enough? Indeed, do we ever love enough?

Thank you, Paul.

BULLETPROOF

Shore-Nice: 

What do I have to offer?

Remind me my purpose once more.

The moment I served my purpose,

After trusting me to keep you safe 

You counted on me for protection 

But now I've lost my value 

And you aren't there to remind me

of my past days of glory..

Those moments when your words 

of encourgement meant a lot—

You might see it as Falling Glory,

But to me those are moments I confide into 

when I'm weak to keep me strong and moving;

I found you wanting when I needed you most 

I still carry those bullet holes for your sake,

Where I took the bullets in your place.

Kante:

Easy come, easy go

I fell so hard and yet you go

What I felt for you, you know

Eating deep my heart and soul

But I was a tool and not a man

An umbrella for when you stand

A parachute for you to land

But you left me in the sand

You keep messing with my glands

I looked forward to the day

When I'd hold you in my hands

But I saw you in another man's arms

And I had no words to say

I took the bullets that were meant for you

Like a surgeon I removed them too

I did all these for you

Because I knew how it felt too

You took my wings and so you fly

Because I encouraged you to try

Here I am asking why

You threw me off like a broken sword

Why drop me off like an empty gun?

I still carry the bullet holes for you

I'm the talk of the town, the clown

But you're the icing on the cake in gowns

You see me these days and frown

You're the biggest thing in town

You threw me off like an empty song

I can't help but sing outward

Asking the sun questions it can't find

Why did you leave me. Why?

Bella Fuego:

I still carry the scars from the bullets

Still have memories of our love, and how we started

Now, I manage to heal from the reject

Only thing I feel in my heart is regret

And everything seems so very hard to forget

Lol,

Knew my worth but still fell hard for you

Got drunk on the love I had for you

Felt like I was on the top of the world

At a time, I worshipped you like you were God

Broke my heart and still played the victim card

Treated me like a dumb lad

Now I'm here and I'm fucking sad

That's what I get for loving too hard

And for the times I loved and you played me

I wish I had seen through the lies you told me

All I can do is weep and drown in my sorrow

And hope for a happier me tomorrow

Still asking the sun questions it can't find

Why did you leave me, Why!

Shalom-Paul Onadipe x Yussuf Ramah x Tokede Opeyemi

February, 2022.

Paul sent me the first draft of this piece, I found it irresistible and jumped on it. Then I sent the work to Ramah for a woman's touch, and as ever, she came through. Can't appreciate you guys enough for what you do. Thanks for sending Paul, thanks for joining Ramah.

BEAUTY OR BARRICADE?

Iyanu:

Beauty or barricade?

It's all in the mind.

All the negativity

Think on it,

An epiphany—

All the hurts,

Just a frame

To hold your pain

And make known

Your own name.

Beauty or barricade?

It's all in the mind;

A prison cell

Or a painter's dream?

Kola:

Beauty and the beast called barricade:

Looking out through my soul's window.

At first I couldn't see beyond the barricade.

Like a beam it filled my vision,

Despair came visiting

Like the unwanted guest it is,

It messed up my psyche,

Then... 

I looked beyond the barricade,

To the greenery of the scenery,

The beauty of freedom,

I said to myself:

It's all in my mind.

"Mind over matter,"

"Mind over matter." 

The mantra running through my head,

The beauty or the barricade...

Tokede Kola x Iyanu,

30th January, 2022.