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I put an end to our relationship, but it only got better; Because we now relate with each other on our terms. The one I offended did not stay offended, I'm glad he got to see myself. Was going to apologize, but then I remembered The reason behind my actions last December— You can't keep losing to win people, But it wasn't all plain and simple, I still had to deal with guilt. But then I got his message and felt old resentments, But then it quickly went away: An opportunity to bury the hatchet, I grabbed it with both hands! Later, in person, I apologised, Water under the bridge, under the bridge, I put an end to our relationship, But then it only got better! ©el-iyanu This depicts the story of a testy relationship that got on my nerves for years. Last year, with some amount of disrespect, I carefully put an end to it. But then he reached out this year, I'm glad the dynamic had changed. Now, we both understand that I dance to my own tunes (by God's grace, and no one el...

Temptations come from every corner, But in God, grace is abundant. The things we don't want to do, Calling out for us to do. Easy to get caught in the web of life, Struggling with things that seem alive— Things from which we hide ourselves, But we seem to find nonetheless! We said we fell the last time, Promised to do better next time— We've sworn our lives to God, His abundant love a raging flood! The demons keep calling from time to time, But we can't defeat them without God; Sometimes we find ourselves to fall, But we find strength again from his love! Found myself falling to darkness, My help was in living up to God— Knowing that I made some mistakes, I was able to conquer at the third! Who we are can lead us astray, Our personality driving us away— Curiosity eating away our resolve, But in God, our darkness dissolves! So, when you find yourself in the wrong situation, Kick yourself and try again— Yes, you have your standards to live up to, But God's standard will n...

Life is like heaven for the thinking man, You could spend all day thinking And think you did something productive; You could spend all day doing nothing And think you did something productive— Alas, life is like heaven for the thinking man! This morning I had work to do, Worst case scenario, I get to miss a class. Alas, it was a Test,  And I was mad at first! My face was tight, and my emotions tense— I said to myself: indeed, I have no friends! Like nobody's with me like I am with them, It's one reason I don't like to have friends, Because you begin to expect from them, But even without expecting, you're still expecting! But life is a choice, You either make your bed or you lie on it! I thought a lot about the matter, Even though I put it behind my mind. I thought a lot about my kind, Would I have gone the extra mile? Even though sometimes I usually do, What would I have done any better? It's the little things that bring me close, It's also them that drive me ma...

Proud as you are, I still look down on you; It's funny, now that it's no longer painful. ©el-iyanu Smiles... One of the ways I know I've matured a bit and outgrown some emotions that used to make me sad. The pain of wanting to connect with people who don't need or care for your connection. Eventually, I came to understand that we just have to take people how they are. In a way, I'm sorry for them and the things they miss out, but then we all make our choices, and everyone has their reasons. Can look back now and laugh, the sadness is not quite as sharp.

Angry but silent, Silent but angry Was I dishonoured Or was I proud? I know my worth I paid my dues The issue on ground What can I deduce? Could I have done better, What about them? Angry but silent, Silent but angry,  But then,  We talked about it. ©el-iyanu Similar to "Pride and Pain." Still wonder if I did the right thing. Still think about it now. Was my last chance to participate in the general school games, but I didn't for various reasons. Somehow vindicated, but wondering if I could have just pushed through regardless. Like when you stay away, but nobody fights or pushes for you until it's all done. Besides, I'm not a kid, didn't enjoy feeling like an afterthought, or being a burden to someone for something I can't afford. It's a complicated story though, but I still wonder.

Pride and pain I'm not insane Pride and pain In this game Lost a lot Lots to gain Pride and pain Learn their manners Know my worth Pride and pain Pride and pain In this game No pain no gain... ©el-iyanu Sometimes, I deliberately behave indifferent just to see how some people behave. As if to measure if something is worth my energy, if it's truly worth my time. I kind of punish myself to see if people really need my skillset. I don't really know how to explain it, but I guess I want to feel special, feel important, treated well and properly, not just like anybody or everybody, or somebody. Sometimes, it hurts because I get left out a lot. I keep my silence, I keep my pride. I wonder if it's right or wrong. I feel proud to be strong enough to stay away, but it's pain to not be doing what you love.

Nothing as exciting as new friends Nothing as enduring as old friendships Now, I understand  Why people shed tears for stress I'm always tired, I always want to rest But some new friends go deeper But with the old,  You always know what to get Life in a nutshell You could love people  And not be loved back You could adore them And they won't care back I guess we're all guilty at points But eventually we have to grow And a lot of things, They stop to hurt. ©el-iyanu

You swallow pain quickly, I'm impressed But I hope you don't carry hatred in your heart Or repress your emotions  And bottle it up inside. Let it go, let it flow Whatever you want, just let me know Am I so difficult as I show? It's an act, just so you know! Like they all know except you, You treat me like a stranger But I'm close to you Let me help you avoid the dangers! Do you hear? ©el-iyanu Sometimes, people think they're so difficult they can't reach out to you, think you're harsh, but that's not always true.

You're generous  But stingy with your affection One of the best teachers I know But you can also be negative with your thoughts I like you a lot to be fair But there's nothing between us to repair For to us you've not been fair No matter how close, you've not been near But we've settled our differences, Though you never said the reasons, You wanted us all to yourself But you never give your all us But here we are, friends again. ©el-iyanu

So, I say I wanna hear the story She said it's fine  But her eyes are blurry Sha has no ordinary mind Filled to the brim like a lorry Overflowing with calm But she thinks it's funny And it's funny Can't help but laugh Cos it's funny Yeah, I said it's stunning! She can't help but smile It's funny— Like sunrise on clear water It's stunning It's funny Mind on fire Heart is placid It's stunning Beautiful garbage 'Make you smile Look at the sky It's stunning It's sunny, it's funny Look at you smiling, it's funny It's nothing but stunning, Yeah, it's definitely stunning Alas, my friend, You're stunning! © el-iyanu For my friend, Rahma. She asked me how I do it. How she said something, and I wrote nice things about it. I told her it's God's gift, and so are people like her. Big ups "og."