Haven.inc: MENTAL HEALTH: BREAKING BOUNDARIES WITH FOYIN!

Good day, and welcome once again to Haven Inc. We hope you always find a place to stay. We'll be have a special discussion today with a mental health enthusiast, advocate and survivor, Ms Foyin. Straight-talking and blunt as usual, she brings us experiences from her past and lessons today for a better life and understanding of the much-discussed topic. Her passion for the subject is rare and frankly refreshing. Thanks for staying with us.

Good day Foyin, it's a pleasure to have you here at Haven.Inc to speak on the issue of Mental Health. I must confess I haven't seen a lot of people with your passion for promoting mental wellness and creating awareness for her events. What drives you?

First of all, I appreciate your curiousity towards having a conversation as regarding mental health. To begin with I must say, I’m a survivor of terrible mental illness. With the experiences I had, I understood what it feels like to have mental illness(es), be it slight or intense! The experiences I had took me long to overcome. I spoke to several therapists online and it was a really effective way of overcoming my mental illness. I became confident and believed truly that tough times do not last, and also that life is all about phases. Over time, I encountered people who have similar and complex mental illnesses and do not have an understanding of a way to manage it. Furthermore, from my basic personal practical survey I got to understand that on a scale of 10, just a maximum of 4 really understand what mental health is and their inability to have sound or basic knowledge on what mental health is has been my ultimate reason to strive hard to sensitize people as much as I can on mental health. Thank you.

Wow! I'm glad to hear you're a survivor, and we can see the evidence of you strong and happy! Honestly, there's no need for thanks. I believe strongly it's a message that needs to get out there. And thank you for sharing your story with us, we honour your candour and openness.

But if you were to distill your experiences in that period, what would you say helped you the most? What did you learn about yourself and the society in that period? What needs to change?

My experiences I must say were terrible because I was practically hiding the way I was feeling from people around me, I struggled with intense sadness and I compulsorily had to appear happy. It was a terrible one. What helped me the most was the fact that I knew there was a solution to it and I made sure suicidal thoughts didn’t cross my mind or in any minute reminisce on taking my life. I learnt that in every hard time always hold on to the tiny positivity in every negativity, it’s a mind game, process it! In every negativity there’s a probability of 2% positivity in 100% negativity. It’s quite slim, but this would sustain an individual for a while!

It would help an individual suffering from mental illness gather him/herself together to an extent and eventually help them get rid of suicidal thoughts that may cross their minds. Life is truly all about phases and tough times do not last! In those periods and during my experiences , I would say I got to understand that many people do not have emotional intelligence neither do majority understand a little about mental health. This alone could worsen the situation of an individual suffering from a mental illness because some of the individuals might not relate it to the people around them due to MENTAL HEALTH STIGMATIZATION done by the society who has no knowledge as regarding mental health.

I must say the society at large should have a good knowledge on mental health and the illnesses if not much knowledge but a glimpse would change a whole lot and put a stop to mental health stigmatization and encourage victims to seek for help without being scared of stigmatizations! Thank you!

Thank you once again for the fullness of your words. "A little positivity can sustain us through the darkest times.." You once said that all feelings are valid, and I felt that. I think it was a timely reminder for me, so I'll use this opportunity to say my thanks again.

I can say you've already answered most of the questions we prepared without us even having to ask. But I have to ask, what should I do with my feelings? Is it compulsory to open up about one's feelings before there can be improvement? Because there's a particular stigma attached to saying out one's feelings, and a lot of misunderstanding about what therapy is about.

Thank you for asking. Opening up about how you feel could be for different reasons. First, seeking for help. Also, just venting to someone to ease yourself off the heaviness you have in your chest (bothered mind). This is why it’s advisable to open up to a counselor, a therapist or certified psychologist. They’re trained to be surreptitious about one’s identity and information being shared. Fear of stigmatization from people has led to inability for affected individuals to seek for help , but there are right sources. You can get through to them through all social media platforms! I strongly believe no one would seek help from a right source and regret, but will instead be thankful because there’ll be growth.

Quickfire Session

Q1. If I say my mental health is more important than anyone's feelings, what do you think about that?

Yes! Yourself first, it’s best for one to practice adequate self love.

Q2. How do I improve my mental health? Three words.

Practice enough self-love.

Q3. Role of recreation in mental health.

It sometimes can make you feel relaxed when stressed out e.g. swimming.

Q4. How can the government intervene? Where can they come in?

The government should provide free therapy centres!

Q5. One of the causes of mental health is poor and toxic relationships. How can that be addressed?

People have different emotional strengths, most times it’s hard for them to leave but whoever is finding it difficult to leave should seek an help from a therapist or speak to who can help him/her.

Q6. You found positivity in negativity. Some go the other way round. What's your message to those who find negativity in positivity?

Positivity in negativity is most times slim, but it’s always a mind game. An affected individual should take time to see for himself, but if the vision isn’t clear, they should train their minds to absorb positive words e.g. Life’s all about phases, tough times do not last, this shall be like a story to tell soon, I’ll survive this.. Statements like that travel far, the contents a person absorbs into the mind has a great and positive effect on them!

Q7. A confidential resource site one can seek help and talk to specialists.

Psychebabble, Mentallyawarenigeria! (on all platforms)

Finally, what's your message to people who are undergoing a lot of things they can't explain or express.

My message to victims of mental health illnesses is they should strongly believe that they’re survivors already and keep on going with the mindset , they definitely will come back strongly on they feet to be a source of inspiration and help to those whom might fall victim of exact same issue.

What would you say to friends and family of people who've experienced mental health challenges?

I believe they’ve discovered how strong they’re and how that phase was just a phase amongst all good phases of life! Cheers to all survivors 🥂

Cheers indeed! I must say it's been a pleasure speaking with you on this delicate issue, and I must confess I've learnt a lot from conversing with you. Somehow, I feel reenergized myself! Thanks for having us Foyin, we appreciate your wonderful presence. It was a pleasure having you here.

Note: May is the Month for Mental Health Awareness.